Author: helvrum@hotmail.com

 

 

Sitting on my desktop is this list of Openers. And It’s been sitting there since November without me doing a single thing about it. I keep thinking I’m going to print it out and put each little message in an envelope, but really my life doesn’t work that way. My brain doesn’t work that way. It’s worth reading and worth sharing, so I’m sticking it here as a super reminder.

I’ve got lots in my brain simmering away….and the girls are at school, and I’m taking the final few minutes of that time to bust this out and go through some pictures. I knew I was a liar when I said that I had 9 whole hours a week to myself, Barry kept telling me, but 9 hours sounds amazing compared to 6…or 4….Last week I was trying to get a ton of chores done, frantically stomping around the house and I looked at the clock and realized that I only had 15 minutes before I needed to leave for school pick-up. I panicked, grabbed my book and jumped into bed and tried to read for those 15 minutes, but it wasn’t relaxing because I was worried I’d miss my departure time.

Anyhow, projects and ideas that inspire me are a ‘brewing. I want to write more, photograph more and get to it. But sometimes I only get 15 minutes to let my mind wander and so the slow-burn, simmering continues.

And if it were me, right now, choosing which one to open, I’d pick the envelope about losing sight of what matters. I’ll continue to simmer my ideas, my personal projects, while I keep on track and appreciate all the blessings in my life.

Open up….

Last week I wanted so badly just for it to be over. It was hard all around emotionally. I felt sorry for myself, sorry for my children, and sorry for just trying to BE. It was rough. Lots of hard mornings trying to get where we needed to be, trying so hard to stick on schedule and herd little people that REALLY didn’t want to be herded. They probably just wanted to be HEARD.

So, this week I’ve really tried my best to listen to their words before they explode into an emotional eruption that just needs to be contained. It’s been a better week. We’re still grinding it out to get to where we think we need to be, but it is far, far better than last week.

Yesterday Audrey climbed to the top of the rope at gymnastics and rang the bell attached to the ceiling, something that her teacher they don’t typically offer to children until they’re four. But Audrey looked at that rope and shimmied her little body to the top, and reached for that bell without a single hesitation. It helps that she’s seen her sister do it numerous times, but still. She climbed to the top of the rope and REACHED out.

Last week felt, to me at least, like I was just at the bottom of the rope and it was dangling within reach and I was just staring at it, metaphorically speaking, of course. This week, I’ve been able to climb and maybe even reach out a bit. It feels really spectacular. The list of things that need to get done still sits, still calls, but I’m not reaching for that. I’m reaching for something else entirely.

Today we’re fidgeting around getting ready to head out the door for the fourth and final birthday celebration for Little Miss Audrey. We’re headed to our local community center to have a gymnastics party, perfect for her Danger Cat personality and the need to get moving on this Winter day. I snapped this photo of her on her REAL third birthday and I think it’s so sweet, capturing her just as she is. Literally.

Birthdays make my mama-heart happy because it’s a day where my life changed forever…..the day my babies came into the world. So, four celebrations for this little three year old.

Four for Three.