helvrum@hotmail.com – Page 62

August 17, 2014

The Suitcase Chronicles

For quite a long time now, my mom has had this old green suitcase stored in my old bedroom at my parent’s house. It doubles as a toy box and most kids that come to visit know where they can get anything from dinosaurs to wooden blocks. I’ve had it in the back of my head, probably since Maggie was a toddler, that I wanted to somehow use it as a photo prop. I’d also found a gorgeous white dress at a thrift store for $4 a number of months ago, again wanting to try to get some pictures of Maggie in it before I let her run wild in it.

As I’ve already posted, one thing lead to another recently and we got to have a bit of fun with the camera, dress, and suitcase. On the way out the door, I grabbed my dad’s stuffed dog, Tigger. My grandma thinks tigger came from a church rummage sale when my dad was a little boy. When I was a kid, my dad always made Tigger and his old bear talk to us, but he’d have to translate what they said because they always whispered in his ear. Seemed old Tigger enjoyed getting brought outside for some pictures as well.

I’ve got one more batch from this night to share….

August 16, 2014

Free Range Chicken at the Market and Anniversary Love

Before I post an onslaught of photos from months ago, I want to acknowledge that today is our 6 year wedding anniversary. I’m never very good about writing about our marriage or controversial topics (not to say that our marriage is controversial, it isn’t) on our blog. Usually when I want to be mushy or opinionated, I tend to squash it down with a bunch of words or hidden meanings. But our marriage, and our life together, deserves quick recognition. Barry and I met when we were 21 and got married seven years later. 13 years together. I’m proud of that, mostly proud that we’re still deeply in love and committed to continue to build on what we’ve already established. (SEE! I’m not good at this. Marriage is private and we like to keep it that way….but cheers to our anniversary and loving the one you’re with.)

Because April seems to be the month that got away from us this year, I’m doing a quick drop of pictures from that month that I haven’t posted yet. As you can see, we were up in A-Town and met up with our A-Town playgroup for a playdate. This batch is only from the second half of the month, because I seem to have dropped off the face of Earth after the 15th. Looking at these pictures makes me appreciate our ability to go visit family and friends on a regular basis, I know not everybody has that and I tend to forget that a 1.5 hour drive really isn’t that big of a deal.

As I type this, April seems like eons ago. This morning, the 16th of August, we got up and went to the Farmers Market. But before the girls and I had even rubbed the sleep from our eyes, Barry ran 12 miles. 12 freakin’ miles. We were up by the time he got back home, but certainly not far from a deep slumber. He does that sort of thing, running, and finds such joy in it. By 9 o’clock we were all showered (not Maggie, but Audrey who jumped into the shower with Barry) and out the door to the market. It was the first time that we let Audrey roam the market like a free range chicken, and she loved it. We made the mistake of letting Mags pick out some kettle corn….all Audrey wanted to do was pound the popcorn while strolling through the market. It was funny and we’re working on saying ‘yes’ to things that aren’t a big deal. It was the first time that I really felt like we had big kids with us. Both girls walking, both having opinions. (The opinon thing has been since birth for both, but you know…)

So, April seems forever ago. And someday today, the day we went to the Farmers Market and Audrey walked like a free range chicken while eating popcorn, will feel like a century ago. And I’ll be a mixture of happy and sad. Because thinking about the day that I got married, I was so happy and I couldn’t even fathom what our future would be….that’d it be full of free range chickens and coffee (because we didn’t start drinking coffee until last year).

Without being too mushy, I, again, want to point to today’s day on the calendar and put a massive heart on it and smooch everything it stands for.

maggie mae04

August 14, 2014

Suzanna’s Story

My friend Suzanna wrote a note with a picture I took of her on Facebook. I was struck by her kind words towards me, but mostly by her raw honesty and willingness to share her story. We all have a story to share and this is hers. Here’s what she wrote along with the picture:

My awesome friend Hannah recently snapped some photos of The Larsons. She’s amazingly talented. She also has known me since my awkward preteen years and still loves me. So naturally, she’s one of my favorite people of all time. If I could bottle up the feeling I get after spending a little time with her(and now with her darling little girls) I would sell it and make millions because it is phenomenal. So I wasn’t surprised when she emailed me the most precious photo of all time. I have looked at it about a million times over the past few days since I first saw it. I’m in awe. But not by what most have commented to me about. Yes, Daxten is ridiculously adorable. And Carter IS indeed the sweetest big brother on the planet. But I see so much more than that. My first thoughts (after thinking, “Holy goodness, my belly has grown!”) were those of gratitude for all this picture shows.
Luke and I lost 3 babies before our sweetheart Carter joined us. It was hard. At the time I hated it and went through every emotion and worry and struggle you would probably imagine one would at that time. I was terrified most of the pregnancy with Carter, always fearing the worst. Then he showed up early, spent a couple weeks in the NICU, and was also perfect. It was Mother’s Day when we finally had him home and I got to hold him on my chest and feel somewhat like a “normal mom” although he had wires attached to him and his monitors. My smile in this picture reminds me of that day and those feelings. Like a sigh of relief. It was perfect.
I then lost another after Carter which more than anything made me scared out of my mind. I thought I had conquered this already by having Carter. Would I still struggle to have another? Would I get another at all? We were very much thankful for our son but it really shook us to think this would still be a problem and bring more heartache. But it also made us love every single second with our boy. Truly.
Then, when we stopped trying to follow our own plan, Daxten showed up! Nearly everything about him was different than Carter. I even dreamt about him and pictured him differently (physically) as to differentiate the two boys (I was scared out of my mind to have two sons in a row….”just like my brothers” lol). He came out looking exactly how I’d pictured him. Identical to me turns out though, he acts EXACTLY like his Father. Well, and a little bit like MY father. Watch out! But what surprised me the most was how grateful I became that my boys had each other. They are best friends. They share the sweetness and compassion I somehow have managed to teach them (atleast for now) and that is CLEARLY shown in the picture. It gives me hope and faith that I’m not alone in this and I hopefully won’t totally screw them up. They are nice boys. They already adore their sister and especially Carter has been BEAMING ever since we told him about a baby on the way. He hoped and prayed for a sister. Daxten is just thrilled with life and probably would have been happy if I told him we were having a rock or stick or jelly bean but a sister is just as good. I left him with his Nana the other day and before I left he hugged me, then hugged my belly and told his sister bye and that he would miss her. My heart melted. Even my rough and tough and total “opposite” of sweetheart Carter, has a softness about him that seems so genuine. I am thankful.
So you see, this picture is more than just a really great maternity photo. To me, it’s a story of all my challenges and worries becoming a mother. Proof that things don’t often go as planned, but come out even better. Hope that things we are scared of and think we will fail at, can become strengths and joys. And what we thought wouldn’t be good for us, actually turns us into the best version of ourselves possible.