My Very Own Mama

Every so often I’ll call my mom up with a question that starts with “When we were little how did you_____.” She often will laugh it off or claim she can’t remember, but I’d really like to know how mothers of past generations did things. Share your wisdom, pleeeease.

(Sidenote: my latest question was about what Phil and I did while she was home alone and needed to use the outhouse. You know, because it was THE EIGHTIES and we were hippies and had no running water until I was 5. I’m not sure her answer, if she were to remember, would help me all that much because we’ve got electricity and a bathroom. And call me gross talking about bathroom things, but there is never privacy…..so maybe there was a reason my mom and dad decided to have an outhouse for so many years. )

So, Mother’s Day. It’s important, and I totally think that my mom should be honored and valued today, but shouldn’t I show her love and respect EVERYDAY? I do. Part of the way I do this is to call her and ask for aforementioned wisdom. My mom is, without a doubt, my closest friend, biggest cheerleader, and strongest advocate. She’s a force to be reckoned with, a supurb garage saler, a master quilter, a coffee-making, granola baking, amazing gardening, fart-laughing (it’s true, mom, and don’t act like farts aren’t funny), not-much-sleep-needing, independent, award-winning grandma, and I’m so proud to call her my own.

So there.

And Mom?

Thanks for always letting me be ME.

And reminding me not to be like everybody else.

Even when I looked like this…..

and I’m sorry for the bathroom humor.

May 10, 2014

Amen.

***I’m married to somebody that gets it and today I’ve been home alone all day. I didn’t even ask for this. But, boy, I’ve needed it. I’ve spent majority of the time writing blog posts that’ll post in the coming week, and editing photos. And it has been glorious. So glorious. I made the bed and started to to other housework, but then I promptly came back to edit my pictures. I really miss that creative outlet and today was a fantastic gift of TIME. If you haven’t yet, check out Annie Flavin’s poems. Thanks to Kelle Hampton’s blog for pointing me in her direction. And thanks to my hunky husband for giving me an entire day of being alone. I love you, but you already know that.***

A Gift Idea for Mother’s Day for Mothers of Young Kids

by Annie Flavin

MAY 10, 2014

No need for flowers
or breakfast in bed;
a handmade card will do.

What I want most of all
is for this day
to be different
than tomorrow.

I want the children dressed,
listened to,
fed,
and entertained
by someone
other than me.

I want the house tidied,
the toys put away,
the dishes done,
the food prepared,
the groceries shopped,
the linens changed,
the crumbs wiped –
and the butts, too –
by someone
other than me.

I don’t want
to buckle a car seat
and to rush someplace
that no one cares to be.

This Mother’s Day
I’d like to remember
that I am a mother,
but more,
that I am a person.
Will you help me with that?

I know that we have mothers to celebrate and thank:
my mother, your mother,
dead mothers, grandmothers, godmothers,
mothers who aren’t biologically our mothers,
but who are mothers to us, nonetheless.
Could we plan for them
on a different day?
Or, if it’s being with our kids that they’d like,
tell them that our kids
will be here with shoes and coats
at the ready
waiting to be taken
for a walk
or to the park
or for a bike ride.
They don’t sit long enough
for church
and brunch
and a play,
which means I wouldn’t be sitting
for any of that either.

Let me go to the bookstore
or the coffee shop
alone.
Let me look for a pair of pants
that fit
without having to chase a child
back into the dressing room.
Let me take a bath
and wash my hair
without playing
peek-a-boo
with a dripping wet shower curtain.

I love all that being a mother has given me,
but what I’d like most of all
for today
is to be a person.

If I could have that today,
then tomorrow –
or tonight, in the middle of the night –
I can come back refreshed
as a mother.

May 10, 2014

Keeping On

There are a few bloggers/photographers/writers/mothers that have blogs that I like to read and they post nearly every day. Quite often their posts are filled with their daily tasks of what their family is up to and the comings and goings of life. And I find comfort in those posts because much of my time is spent either coming or going. I’m often hauling, buckling, wiping, lifting, carrying, listening, answering, hugging, preparing, forgetting, organizing, and a variety of other things and it’s nice knowing there are others out there with the need to document….or just purge.

And then.

Then, there are those bloggers/photographers/writers/mothers that have blogs that don’t post very often, but when they do….it comes to me like a small, gift wrapped ball of greatness that feeds my soul, fills in some of the gaps that have needed filling and pushes me to be a better everything than I am in my current state. I’d like to think that I’m an in between blogger – one that writes posts about trips to the grocery store, but also on a rare occasion can actually capture the craziness in a few paragraphs, and make an impact in somebody’s daily shuffle.

The last few weeks I’ve contemplated ‘giving up’ the blog, but I just can’t. It makes me sad and sick to think about, because if I don’t hold on to a bit of documentation, I think our lives will pass us by with a quick blink. So, I’m holding tight to the bits of time that allow for some writing/editing.

As Maggie navigates her way through becoming more and more independent, I’m having to figure out new ways to help her express her own opinions withouth yelling/whining. It’s been hard, but I have to belive that the work we’re doing now, the foundation we’re laying down, will translate into greater things down the road. But holy smokes, that girl is a firecracker when she’s tired or thinks something should go a certain way.

And Audrey. She has discovered the great outdoors, which I love. Except for the fact that she thinks she can go down stairs like an adult (or her big sister), I’m supportive of her being outside. I’m mostly looking forward to being in our backyard and not having to worry about her falling down/on the concrete stairs….where Maggie is a firecracker, Audrey is beyond brave/adventurous.

The following pictures are from the first part of March.

**the one of Audrey sticking her finger in an ‘outlet’ is a dead phone jack. (who has land lines anymore, right??)