Part One…

After almost a week of anti-itch drugs, I was happy to have finally slept for a few nights. Yeah!

Anyone that has more than one child will tell you, almost without hesitation, that having a second is much easier and very different than the first. This rang true for me in a variety of different ways, starting from the moment that I found out I was pregnant. This time around not only did I feel much, much better, but I also had more going on and wasn’t able to focus on being pregnant every single second and day. Part of me had a bit of guilt that I wasn’t tracking this pregnancy in the same way that I did when I was pregnant with Maggie, but the reality was that my life, with working and trying to be a mother to an almost 3 year old, didn’t leave much room. 

With my second pregnancy I thankfully didn’t have any strong cravings (because I’m not sure my system could have withstood another Dick’s Drive In overload) and the heartburn returned with a roar. I stuck to my rule of wearing tunics and boots and felt like I was living my life in jammies all day long, I felt comfortable and relaxed about everything. Barry and I were thrilled to be welcoming a second daughter into our life together and both of us felt strongly that Maggie would be a phenomenal  big sister. 

In early December I started to get really itchy palms and feet at night time and my sleep became very touch-and-go. I’d be up in the middle of the night itching and feeling very uncomfortable, but just thought that perhaps that was just what the third trimester was supposed to be about – increasingly uncomfortable. I mentioned something to my doctor just before we went to Mount Hood and she suggested maybe my boots were making me itch and to air out my feet some at the end of the day. I did this and got no relief. In fact, the itching became worse and worse. Eventually my entire body was itching and I was hardly sleeping at all. 

By the time my next appointment rolled around I mentioned again to my doctor how horrible I felt in terms of itching and that nothing was working to help alleviate anything or help me sleep. I was regularly up in the middle of the night taking showers and scrubbing my self practically raw. My skin was super, super gross and I had crossed over into the “I don’t care how I  look because I’m freakin’ uncomfortable and not sleeping” stage of being pregnant. The pumice scrubber was my BFF and I would walk back and forth on our textured rug to give my feet a bit of relief. 

The doctor suggested that we run a few blood tests to see if I had cholestasis of pregnancy…I went home and googled it. (Note to self: never, ever google ANYTHING medical related. Ever.) The next day I went to work and was sitting at my desk when the office called to say that my doctor was on the phone. What the hell? My doctor? I didn’t even know that my doctor knew my work number. Anyhow, my students were at Music and so I had the office patch the doctor thorough.  I was asked if I could please leave work and come to the hospital to take a Non Stress Test, have more blood work done and get a ultrasound of my liver. Ummm…..and was I feeling fetal movement? Turns out my numbers had come back in the blood test that suggested cholestasis. Apparently my liver was working against me and my baby. 

It was right about that moment that shit got real. (sorry for swearing, but umm……)

Fetal movement? I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I realized that I hadn’t been paying attention to Audrey’s movements and more focused on my state of itchiness. After I finally calmed myself down, after phone calls to Barry, my mom and back to the doctor’s office, I felt her kickin’ her way around and felt such peace. My principal was simply amazing and helped me load things into my car (my staff had thrown a baby shower for me that morning before school) and sent me on my way to pick up Barry and head to the hospital. 

By the time I made it to pick up Barry at work, I was a moderately better and just being with Barry helped me immensely. This was the start of where Barry became my rock and person to lean on. He is so calm, the eye of the storm and my emotions ranged from high to low. We went to the hospital and had a battery of tests – ultrasound didn’t suggest that my liver was obviously acting out, blood tests we’d have to wait for, and the non stress test showed that Audrey was happy in my tummy.

We touched base with my doctor and she had concern about why I was so itchy and why my numbers came back elevated. With women that have cholestasis of pregnancy it is very strongly suggested that babies are out of the womb by 38 weeks because of the high incidence of stillbirth this late in pregnancy. I was just a few days shy of 38 weeks and at this point I just wanted to have my baby. Even the thought of stillbirth made me queasy. After some discussion, we decided that on Monday, two days later, we’d try to induce labor and see what happened. My doctor also gave me some medication to help the itchiness which I practically wanted to inhale the prescription in hopes that it’d help. 

Late Sunday evening my mom came to spend the night and we went to sleep knowing that the hospital would call early the next morning in anticipation of our arrival for an induction….I thought to myself as I feel asleep that night that it would be my last night without two babies under our roof. Oh, was I wrong.

I still had another week before we’d induce labor….

‘ROUND HERE

Sydney isn’t picky with who she naps with. Audrey ~ welcome to the family!

My littlest is two weeks old. These two weeks have flown by, just like with my whole pregnancy (with the exception of the very, very end) and I wonder if that is how the next chunk of time is going to go…quickly.  Things this time around have a more relaxed and laid back feel. The world doesn’t stop with each diaper change and middle of the night feedings have a bit of a sweet I-get-you-to-myself tone.  

We’ve slowly found ourselves leaving the safe cocoon of our house and going on adventures to the park. beach and even to visit Lara and her family. Poor Audrey gets all bundled up and sleeps through it all with a her teeny nose getting a bit chilly. Barry heads back to work this week and I know that with that comes another change. Perhaps we’ll find a routine that will work for us sooner than later, but to be honest, I’m not looking forward to the first outing with Audrey, Maggie AND Sydney. Just the thought of it sounds like chaos, but soon it’ll be the norm. 

The Miller Sisterhood is setting down strong roots, with Maggie wanting to make sure that Audrey knows her voice. We’re working on reminding Mags that she doesn’t have to have her face THISCLOSE for Audrey to see it. Maggie has also shown to buy more into the idea of being a big girl and big sister. Early last week we had a talk about how being a big sister is sometimes really, really hard and once we acknowledged that – all the hard work she is doing – we seem to have turned a corner. It was almost as if we gave her permission to feel frustrated and sad, emotions she’d probably been trying to control, especially with everyone asking if she ‘loves being a big sister and loves her sister, blah, blah, blah.’

Being a second born *wink, wink*, I would like to say that Audrey seems to have joined our family without much of a fuss. She is relaxed, happy and pretty much only ‘complains’ when she’s hungry – trying to nurse anything or anybody in reach. The major difference between her and Maggie is that Audrey is the loudest sleeper I’ve ever heard for someone her size. She grunts, groans, snorts, sighs, and makes every other noise in the book while slumbering if she isn’t getting held. As I type this, I am wearing her in the Moby and she isn’t making a peep. Just like her big sister, she loves to be held. And we’re happy to oblige. 

Audrey brought Mags some smelly markers as a gift and they have been a huge hit – with Maggie using them on all her projects….even bringing them to use on the toilet. Some day she might not appreciate that being shared, but I found it quite funny. Just like the time that Maggie helpfully put lotion on her face and some of her toys. Hard to argue with a two-bit toddler covered in yummy smelling lotion. 

REALITY