So She Wants To Be a Princess

*this post has been published with out editing.

When I was little I wanted to grow up and be a waitress because I liked the sound and feel of buttons getting pushed on a cash register. I didn’t really want any part in the hostess portion of watitressing, but I just wanted to push the buttons on a cash register. I never had the opportunity to be a waitress and the only time I’ve ever pushed buttons on a cash register was at a toy store that I worked at during high school and college…and the buttons weren’t ever very loud or clicky, a bit of a disappointment. Other than my big-time dream of becoming a waitress, I pretty much always knew that I wanted to be a teacher and work with children in some capacity. 

In going back to the classroom this past fall, I was reminded of how strongly I love being involved with seeing children learn and becoming citizens of the world. I also am lucky enough that I get to stay home and be with my babies while they are young, taking the remainder of this year off to be a mama…helping the youngest citizens of the world in a different way. I know, without a doubt, that I will always work with children because it makes me extremely happy. I do come from a family of educators, but I don’t necessarily remember being told that I needed to go into the Family Businesss. I also have no memory of being told that perhaps I should set my standards a bit higher when I went through my “I want to be a waitress” stage . (For the record, I was very, very young when I had my ‘waitress’ stage….so don’t judge.) (And also for the record, Barry says that he wanted to be a chiropractor….obviously he had higher standards than I did. Go figure). 

In fact, I don’t remember ever being told that I couldn’t do something. My parents have been nothing but supportive of my decisions and choices that have led me to where I am today. There were times when perhaps I wanted them to TELL me what to do, rather than be told that any decision that I made they would support. I am very different from my siblings…all of us carry the same core values and similar beliefs, but we’re different. Sure, we’re cut from the same cloth, but we are different. We are all both talented and flawed in different ways. My older brother is an extremely talented artist and I often feel I’m missing the creative gene that runs so strongly through him. My younger brother is very smart…both people and book smart….being a driven student and able to talk to anyone and everyone. 

When I’m with my brothers we can laugh about our shared memories from childhood, family vacations and a life shared that molded us into who we are today. I love my brothers and that I can call them at any given time and share a memory or phrase and they’ll know…they were there, they lived it with  me. 

I love that Maggie now has a sibling, someone that can be a memory keeper with her. I can’t wait to see their personalities develop and evolve and I’m going to hold onto the fact that my parents raised three very different children that are equally awesome (thankyouverymuch) in different ways. I’m telling myself this now because I want my girls to have the same memory that I have of supportive parents, encouraging at every turn and bend in the road. 

I’ve needed to think about this recently because I was never a girl that understood All Things Princess. Having an older brother, I mostly wanted to be like him and fit in with whatever he was doing. I remember sitting in the crowd of his little league baseball games wearing the team hat hoping the coach would notice me and ask me to come play….because clearly my brother, who showed little interest in the game, wasn’t doing his job. I so badly wanted a chance to swing the bat. By the time my chance to swing a bat rolled around years later, I was less excited, but still pumped to be a part of a team. 

I don’t necessarily think that Maggie loves most girly things because she doesn’t have an older brother, but more because that is what she’s interested in. Maggie is very attracted to girly, pink, colorful, bright, and happy things. She loves crowns, capes, tiaras, dresses, tutus, pink, and wands. When this first started I was slightly horrified that my daughter was Such a Girl. I tried to persuade her and lead her in a different direction, but it seems like we’ve come back to the pink, bright, colorful way of life over and over again. 

We had a couple experiences with ‘scary’ things (parts to a Leap Frog DVD, a book, etc.) and it really affected Maggie. She became quite worried and agitated even after we talked with her about each incident. I had a mini epiphany about princesses and Maggie’s interest in happy, colorful, pink, cheerful things. I realized that her choosing things that make her feel good is fantastic and rigbt now her idea of what a princess is pretty much is a happy person that wears sparkly clothes. I couldn’t figure out why  I had wanted to fight against that. 

It occurred to me that I didn’t want to buy into the Disney “machine” of Maggie wearing all the Disney Princess dresses and I had assumed that was the road we were going down when this all started. Way back when she picked out undies for potty training, she picked the Disney Princess package and I tried to convince her to get the polka dot ones, but she wanted the ‘princess’ ones. I was horrified and acted like I didn’t know who any of the characters were,  until a couple weeks into potty training I realized that she’d picked up on some of them on her own. So I relented and helped determine the difference between Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella (or was it Rapunzle??). 

As Maggie’s facination with All Things Princess has evolved, I’ve had to adjust my thinking. Here are some of the things that I’ve thought:

1. Just because she likes princesses doesn’t automatically mean our house will explode with princess things. 
2. When I tried to convince her to get the polka dot undies instead, that was exact opposite of how I want to react when my children show an interest (regardless of what I think of said interest). 
3. This is a season of her life. I wanted to be a waitress, for god’s sake. 
4. Chances are,  Maggie is not going to grow up and be a princess. But if she grows up and is a princess, I’ll support her. I’ll also support her if she decides to be a logger….or a waitress. 
5. Not all children are the same. (See above information about Phil and Izak)

I already am enthralled by seeing the bond between Maggie and Audrey develop. I’ve started a list of nicknames that Maggie has for her sister, with the top being “Little Fellow”.  At this point I can’t predict what the future holds and I never would even want to at this point. Never once did I ever think that I’d be the mother to two girls, with the older one insisting on reading Fancy Nancy, wearing her tutu under her dress and practicing ballet in our living room. In the past, I never could have predicted that my life would be so rich.