Reaching

Last week I wanted so badly just for it to be over. It was hard all around emotionally. I felt sorry for myself, sorry for my children, and sorry for just trying to BE. It was rough. Lots of hard mornings trying to get where we needed to be, trying so hard to stick on schedule and herd little people that REALLY didn’t want to be herded. They probably just wanted to be HEARD.

So, this week I’ve really tried my best to listen to their words before they explode into an emotional eruption that just needs to be contained. It’s been a better week. We’re still grinding it out to get to where we think we need to be, but it is far, far better than last week.

Yesterday Audrey climbed to the top of the rope at gymnastics and rang the bell attached to the ceiling, something that her teacher they don’t typically offer to children until they’re four. But Audrey looked at that rope and shimmied her little body to the top, and reached for that bell without a single hesitation. It helps that she’s seen her sister do it numerous times, but still. She climbed to the top of the rope and REACHED out.

Last week felt, to me at least, like I was just at the bottom of the rope and it was dangling within reach and I was just staring at it, metaphorically speaking, of course. This week, I’ve been able to climb and maybe even reach out a bit. It feels really spectacular. The list of things that need to get done still sits, still calls, but I’m not reaching for that. I’m reaching for something else entirely.